New motherhood

You have your baby. You and your husband are proud parents and suddenly it hits you. Soon you'll have to leave that safe, antiseptic, efficiently run hospital and go home. If this is your first baby, the thought of having complete responsibility of your newly acquired family can be a terrifying one. "Will I know when he's hungry? Has he had enough to eat? Too much? How should I pick him up? How do I diaper him? Is his room too hot—or too cold? Should I take him outdoors? Have company in? Is he dressed warmly enough?" All these questions— and more—run through a new mother's mind. These worries and concern for Baby, on top of being confronted with housework, make you feel as though you're facing an insurmountable task. You are entering into new motherhood.

Try to remember this—babies don't break! They're remarkably sturdy little beings that thrive on common sense, care, and plenty of loving. Think of all the babies that are born to uneducated mothers in undeveloped countries. These mothers have little or no medical advice and few, if any, household conveniences, while you have the help of a good doctor and many timesaving appliances. Their babies do quite well—and so will yours!

Help yourself by learning as much as possible about child care before your baby arrives. Also, before you leave the hospital, take advantage of the nurses and doctors there. From actual experience, they can teach you how to feed, dress, and hold the baby.

Most important of all, you must have confidence in yourself and rely on your own good judgment. For the first few months, all your baby will want is to be warm, full, and dry. You can manage that!

Fitting baby into the family

You're bringing your baby home to become a family member. Some adjustments, of course, will have to be made, but you should fit the baby into the routine family schedule as much as is possible.

Your home surroundings should be kept as normal as possible. You don't have to tiptoe around the house telling everyone "Sh-hh, the baby's sleeping," because household tasks carried on in usual fashion don't disturb him. Start out with a noiseless environment and every little noise will disturb Baby.

A helping hand

You might find it reassuring and helpful to have someone help you with the housework for a week or so after you leave the hospital. Make sure she understands that she's to do the housework while you take care of the baby. Otherwise, you might find yourself peeling the potatoes, and your mother-in-law or hired help looking after the baby.

Grandmothers are especially handy when there's a new baby in the house, although their older ideas on infant care may conflict with the instructions your doctor has given you. Be tactful but frank in telling Grandma that the doctor prefers you do it this way, and that's how you are going to do it.

The new father

Your household may seem rather strange at first. It may have doubled in size with the new baby and Grandmother. If this is true, give special thought and consideration to your husband, the new father. Make certain that he doesn't feel left out of the excitement. You must remember, this is all new for him also.

Occasionally a new father may feel a little resentful over all the attention the mother must pay to the baby. Part of this feeling could be jealousy, but part of it may be because he would actually like to help you with caring for the baby.

If Father's willing, he might take care of Baby while you're busy fixing dinner or doing some of the household chores. Don't he alarmed if Father doesn't seem excited about caring for the baby.

At first, the new father may be reluctant to do any more than look at the new baby. Don't be pushy; just give them time o get acquainted. Don't forget, your husband hasn't been as close to the baby as you have all these months. He generally hasn't had as much experience with babies as you've had. Naturally, anything as tiny, fragile, and precious as your child is bound to frighten him a little.

Most of a new father's education in child care comes from watching you. So, be careful not to lose your patience when he seems to get underfoot while you're trying to change or bathe the baby.

Remember, with a bit of instruction, any father can give Baby a bottle, or a bath, or learn to change a diaper. However don't be surprised if he objects to changing when there's a stool in the diaper. His technique and feeding may be unique but more than Baby's basic needs have been met.