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Difficulties in regard to sleep
are more likely to occur in the second and third years than in the first year,
but such difficulties are to some extent the result of sleeping conditions
during the first year, and of sleeping habits acquired in this period.
Independence in sleeping habits should be encouraged as early as possible. After
the first few weeks, when it can be arranged, it is best for the baby to have a
room of his own or with another child, or with the nurse. The mother should be
within call. If baby wakes during the night after the last feed, the mother
should go to attend to him. He should be soothed and comforted and settled
again, and not be left to cry himself to sleep. Normally, when he is put to bed
at night he may lie awake and talk or sing to himself a little and then drop
off to sleep. He may cry just a little when he is left, but this should not be
prolonged. Regular hours for bed times and for wakening times will help the baby
to acquire good sleeping habits. It is important to avoid sudden wakenings, by
noises or disturbances at night.
There is evidence that anxiety is aroused in the child if he sleeps in the same
room as his parents when they are engaging in sexual relations. In some vague,
intuitive way the little child seems aware of his parents' activities, and of
his exclusion, and he tends to feel frightened or angry, neglected or helpless.
Symptoms
such as enuresis, masturbation and screaming fits have been found to date from
these conditions. If a child is ill, or upset by teething, it is wisest for the
mother to go and sleep in the child's room for a little and then, as he
recovers, gradually to get him used to sleeping without her.
Screaming and crying fits
To some extent a baby's cry is his way of
communication. He needs food, company or attention and he demands it by the only
means he knows. If he is getting insufficient food, company or attention he will
cry a good deal. If he gets an adequate amount of each he will only need to cry
in an emergency. Normally happy and contented babies cry very little. It is
important to see that a baby's needs are well satisfied, but it is not wise to
go to him immediately and every time he cries. He may be using crying as a way
of making adults dependent on his will, and lie has to learn to wait a little
and tolerate a little frustration quite early.
But when he screams in fear or anger it is not wise to leave him alone to cry
himself out or exhaust himself in this way. He needs the comfort and the
reassurance that only familiar adults can give him. This is especially so when
he wakes in the night from a slight sound, or because of the pain his teeth are
giving him, or from a bad dream. His fantasies of vengeful, attacking parents
are then most likely to be at their height, and if he has immediately the
reassurance that his own real and loving mother can give him, his fears
decrease, and his fantasies are discountenanced. Throughout his early years he
will
constantly need such reassurance, and the more disturbed or variable is his home
background, the more urgent will be his need. Screaming is one of the means a
baby has of dealing with anxiety. It will become less necessary as he grows
older and learns more about the real friendly world and gains real satisfactions
from it.
Perhaps sufficient has now been said for the reader to appreciate the very great
importance of the mental health and the emotional life of the baby. All aspects
of the infant's life-his physical, intellectual and emotional development-are
equally important, and need care and attention from the first. |