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This page discusses adolescent social
development.
It is during adolescence that a large measure of social
growth is achieved, but the maturity of social adjustment reached now is
dependent to a considerable extent on the stage of development to which the
child has attained. One step follows another ; a child's nature gradually
unfolds on the basis of the preceding stage.
Later relationships are based on earlier ones and the social adjustment of the
adolescent is directly related to the success with which the child in the
nursery built up warm, affectionate, secure relationships to the important
adults in his world. We know that in the case of children from broken homes,
when the child has had little opportunity to experience consistent loving care,
or build up firm attachments to his parents on account of loss, or changes of
guardianship or the like, there is likely to be a poverty of emotional life, and
often a disturbance in social-emotional adjustment. The degree to which a child
has dealt satisfactorily with his nuclear feelings of love, hate and jealousy in
early childhood will determine the nature of his social relations now. The
really serious part of growing up at this stage is to grow away from dependence
on, or domination by the parents, and forge new contacts with people of all
ages. If the child is timid and insecure, seeking always for adequate parent
substitutes, his choice of companions will be seriously limited. If he cannot
break away even a little from too strong emotional attachments to his parents,
he cannot live a full and satisfying social life. If he still nourishes intense
feelings of hostility and rivalry to his brothers and sisters, which normally
should have been worked through in the middle years of childhood, he cannot make
easy friendly relationships with other young people as he will tend to regard
them as potential rivals and hostile competitors. A rich social life, with
opportunities to meet many types of people, of varying ages, can help the
adolescent to work through his social growing pains more readily. He needs
younger people to protect and assist, older people to admire and emulate, and
boys and girls of his own age to share interests and experiences.
The " gangs " of the middle school period are not much in evidence now. Close
friends and confidants of the same sex are common and gradually friendships with
persons of the opposite sex grow up. These may be very romantic, very
superficial, or very fleeting. They may be based on a common intellectual or
athletic interest, but the sexual element is also present. Such friendships are
unlikely to be permanent at this early stage but represent the young person's
first attempt at mature socio-sexual relationships.
Adolescents are difficult people with whom to live. They tend to be irritable
and moody, sentimental, over-critical, bombastic, self-conscious and awkward.
Much of their tiresome behavior is merely the result of emotional
growing-pains. They are self-opinionated because inwardly they feel very
ignorant ; they are boastful because they feel inadequate ; they press for
recognition of their own rights, but in many ways they are not prepared for
responsibilities. Here are a few general suggestions for making life a little
easier for both adults and adolescents :-
1. Give the child adequate freedom, and give him responsibilities suited to his
capability. Let him have sufficient pocket money, and freedom in his choice
of clothes, of amusements, and of friends to a considerable extent.
2. Respect his reticence and reserve. His confidence should not be forced. Let
him feel that you trust him.
3. Let him voice his own opinions. Don't give " good advice " too often unasked
and in a dogmatic way.
4. Let him make his own mistakes to some extent— experience is the best teacher.
5. Don't attempt to over-discipline him. Self- discipline should be nearly
achieved by this time. Let him feel sure about certain moral standards and help
him to respect them.
6. Adequate sex instruction is most important. Children should by this time be
well aware of the facts of birth, but a further knowledge of the hygiene of sex
is necessary. Girls should be told about the cause of menstruation and how to
deal with it, and boys about nocturnal emissions. Discussions about sex and love
and marriage should be encouraged so that opinions may be aired and false
notions corrected. |