INDEPENDENCE DEVELOPS
Sometime during this next year, your baby will
discover that he has a mind of his own, and he will want to exercise it. He'll
resist your efforts to get him to do things. He'll become more and more
energetic, and in his urge to explore, will be "into everything."
He'll want to touch and handle everything he sees.
Sometimes, for his own welfare, you'll have to hold him back.Your common sense must be your guide, however, since this
is his way of familiarizing himself with the world about him.
TODDLER TEMPER TANTRUMS
The happiest and most wisely handled child in the
world may have temper tantrums some time during this period of new-found
independence. They usually start around the one-year mark. Occasionally you will
find an even-tempered youngster who never has them.
By the time the child is 18 months to 2 years old, he's quite in expert. Between
21/2 and 3 years of age, the parent can usually begin to reason with the child.
Once most children realize that this kind of behavior is not the way to get what
is wanted, there will be fewer tantrums.
Basically, temper tantrums are a result of frustration. The youngster either
wants to do something or wants something, and in his efforts to do or obtain
this, he is somehow frustrated. Simple things like pulling a toy and getting it
caught in a chair, or wanting a cooky and not getting it, or wanting Mother to
hold him when she is unable to, may bring on a tantrum.
What happens then? He lies on the floor, screams, pounds his head,
kicks—anything to express this frustration. This behavior is common and expected
in this age group. As the child gets older, his developing maturity will enable
him to handle equally frustrating situations without resorting to such dramatic,
drastic, and irritating measures. If your young one has a tantrum, ignore it. If you expect have any reasonable
control over this problem, you must retain your composure. Losing your temper when
he loses his won't help at all. Remember, you're an adult, and you're dealing with a child.
Shaking and
spanking him or screaming and yelling at him when he's having a tantrum brings
you right down to his level,
and you'll soon learn you'll never win an argument with child by behaving like
one yourself. He definitely shouldn't be allowed to get his own way
by means of a temper tantrum.
If he's simply trying you out, he'll quit when he finds that the tantrum gets him
nowhere. Once you give in to him, he'll use this method again and again to get
his own way. It sometimes helps to take him to his room and leave him there until the tantrum
is over. Walking away from him may also calm him down. Usually a child will stop
screaming when he finds you're not there to watch him.
Children also have tantrums when they're tired, overstimulated, or ordered about
too much. Have you yielded to temption and broken his bed- and naptime or
served his meal late? Are you directing every detail of his day? If you can
answer
"no" to these questions with a clear conscience, just smile up your sleeve when
your child pulls out this old trick, and make sure it wins him nothing.
Have you, however, subjected him to too much excitement or stimulation? Are you
treating him like an infant with no mind or will of his own? If so, take the tantrums as a signal
and change your ways. |